Everyone who knew me before 9/11 believes im dead.

  • 101049 Views
  • 398 Likes
  • 0 Comments
I am homeless and no one (not even my family) knows about it.

  • 8810 Views
  • 3 Likes
  • 0 Comments
When I started my new job, I found your picture in my desk. I hope you're still alive.

  • 7973 Views
  • 7 Likes
  • 0 Comments

  • 7330 Views
  • 0 Likes
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My fellow Men of the world: Put the video games down. Man-up, Suit-up, and wine & dine the fuck out of a beautiful girl.

  • 6188 Views
  • 8 Likes
  • 0 Comments

  • 6150 Views
  • 0 Likes
  • 0 Comments
Im one of the most popular writers in the fandom and everytime I update I wonder if he reads.

  • 5485 Views
  • 1 Likes
  • 0 Comments
I saw my next door neighbor Naked through her window twice. I now check everyday just in case...

  • 4864 Views
  • 2 Likes
  • 0 Comments
In a crowd, (friends, family, strangers) I always wonder which of us will die FIRST.

  • 4783 Views
  • 2 Likes
  • 0 Comments
I'm a minister, but sometimes I look to see if other ministers will wink at me (as if to say) "Hah. Yeah, I'm in on the joke too..."

  • 4442 Views
  • 0 Likes
  • 0 Comments
Psst, Heres a secret... Your last mortal thought will be, "why did I take so many days - just like today - for granted?"

  • 4271 Views
  • 8 Likes
  • 0 Comments

  • 4055 Views
  • 0 Likes
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My wife and I are working at home because of COVID. I wish the quarantine would never end. I love my job, my wife hates hers and hates the company. She said she has never been paid to have sex so when we have it during her normal work hours, she feels like they are paying her to have it. In a way, she feels that by literally screwing me on their time she is also figuratively screwing her company. We have sex almost every work day and then recover on the weekend. However, she is trailing off a little with time. She really takes her time and makes it fun. Thank you COVID.

  • 3888 Views
  • 7 Likes
  • 0 Comments
Of ALL the things I found while reading your texts, learning that you voted for Trump was the worst.

  • 3568 Views
  • 5 Likes
  • 0 Comments
If he touches me again, I swear I'll fucking kill him.

  • 3556 Views
  • 1 Likes
  • 0 Comments

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